HOW TO BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE

Come rompere con qualcuno | Come concludere una relazione in modo piacevole.

How to Break Up With Someone - They're difficult to get into and they're maybe even more difficult to get out of. But also hey: They happen. Unless you happen to believe in marriage and also happen to meet the Perfect Partner your first time through eventually you're going to have to do a break-up. A conscious uncoupling. A farewell to someone else's arms.

Like making friends or influencing people, one might assume that the self-help gurus have figured this out for us. That they have, yet again, cracked the code on human emotion and can deliver us a way to end a relationship that is both simple and relatively painless for either party.

It sounds obvious, but the first step in breaking up with someone is to determine if you should, well, break up with them. Relationships are complex and varied and it's counter-productive to say — barring some extreme circumstances when your immediate safety is concerned — that you should break up with someone if they do X, Y and Z.

Instead, you should use major life changes as opportunities to assess your relationship. Whether intentionally or not, we naturally do this — whether it's graduating from school, getting a new job or moving to a new city. These changes provide convenient excuses for separations that can phase out or end the relationship.

These sorts of "milestone events" are actually a pretty good time to break up. That's not to say you should use them as an excuse, but in terms of the logistics of breaking up — shared friends, proximity or forced interactions — they can help make things easier for both people involved.

The best way to end a relationship, would be to do it at a time when there are changes external to the relationship, that raise issues about the relationship and make it harder to maintain the relationship at the previous level. This provides an excuse to see the other less often, to date others, or to 'need' to end the relationship altogether.

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