Swine

Swines and Pigs alike... did you know they could fly? You do now!

Every now and then something truly spectacular happens, seeing a flying pig zip through the sky is 1 of those things. Some say he was fed Uranium as a Piglet and adapted supernatural abilities as a result. Others will tell you it was swamp gas, or Venus resting low in the sky.

There's a good chance it was neither but a super Swine Pig surely does exist! That super Swine Pig is called capitalism and unfortunately we're all a part of it... oh wait, there he is! You heard it here first folks, a nuclear powered flying pig and with his farts he'll charge a cell phone!

As a newly found, firm believer of the transdimensional super Swine, I can truthfully tell you that the alien godlike pig being sure does exist and he aint no little piglet.

He spends his days roaming the farm looking for nuclear ooze. Fissile goop to sludge down his cakehole like the pig he is inside. The more Uranium he eats the more Uranium he needs. Scientists are unsure what will happen to his cellular growth if he reduces his Uranium intake but he surely doesn't look like he's slowing down and as a result he's getting jacked!

Being the only swine on the farm, this pig sure has it easy. He can lay back all day and know his nuclear lunch is not only safe, it's self warming! He'll never need a microwave again.

Last week he caught the donkey sniffing around in his Plutonium and future encounters are expect. The donkeys started peeing flames and his eyes now glow in the dark.