Tings!

Tings is a ... potentially-hilarious sentence-based Spoonerisming comedy-engine!

"What's pink, wrinkly, and hangs out your ... dungarees!"

Comedy is the link, C, between the two previously unrelated concepts, A, and ... B!

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Permissions & Privacy (Android 6.0+):

Upon first usage, the app will request you to enable all required permissions. Please do!

facebook.com/maddmaapps details app permissions, and why required.

'Tings!' is a ... potentially-hilarious sharing-empowered sentence-based Spoonerisming, Lisping, and Rhotacisming comedy-engine, or meme-machine! It is often even funnier if one considers its output to be euphemistic! Simply read a Ting, and let the picture form in your mind! It can also create comedy Ring-Tones and Stickers! It does exactly what it says on t'internet ... Literally!

Or, to put it another ... way!

'Tings!' is a ... free Android app, or £0.59 for the full version !-) A comedy-engine, a meme-machine, a funny ring-tone and stickers generator, take your ... pick !-)

So, I wrote this in order to learn how to develop for Android. The inspiration was a pen-and-paper game where one person writes the starts, and another the ends, on a piece of paper with the right edge folded over, for secrecy (see last picture). Then read them out aloud, in your best comedy voice !-)

A 'Ting' is a either a Singular Ting, or a Plural Ting, and is randomly composed from a sentence with no ending, and words describing an object or objects.

Tings always occur in Tens, the collective noun for which is a 'Tingle'. Thence, after each Tingle, only the best Ting may be chosen for sharing: survival of the funniest! Thus, spread the laughter, via comedy-natural-selection, to WhatsApp, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, Flickr, Snapchat, Pinterest, and/or via email! All shared Tings are saved, for Tings-On-Demand, comedy Ring-Tones, and ... Sticky Tings!

If you purchase the app (an in-app, one-time purchase of only 59p), your Shared Tings can be voice-output to your "Ringtones/" folder and set as your phone's COMEDY RING-TONE !-) The title page's menu allows access to "Set ... Tings", where you can also choose to randomise your ring-tone hourly or daily, from your list of Shared Tings. Also, purchasing will unlock the Sticky Tings Engine, thus you can stick your funniest Tings wherever you like !-)

* Tings Sticker Engine for use with A4 (8 per sheet) sticky labels:

http://www.staples.co.uk/multipurpose-labels-white-8-per-sheet-100-sheets/cbs/297634660.html

* please see the picture about the printer setting !-) IE: If you right-click the stickers image file on a PC, and select 'Print', you need to uncheck the 'Fit picture to frame' setting (you'll see the previewed picture become slightly smaller), then the 8 stickers images will match the labels ... poifectly !-)

Play responsibly! Yes, it's also text-to-speech, and some Tings might be a bit rude !-)

If you've got a sense of humour, enjoy ... laughing!

...

Donald Trump expected Mexico to pay for the ... kebab!

Watch me while I rugby tackle that ... tree!

His favourite pastime was juggling with ... felly-jishes!

We will be back after the break to find out if Susan can eat this ... telegraph pole!

People who live in glass-houses should never throw stones at ... drones!

An octopus usually has eight ... black eyes!

On the tombola, I won the worst prize imaginable, a ... wet-wipe!

Hilda wrote a lengthy poem about a missing ... vibrating object!

Condoms come in various sizes, even to fit a ... kebab skewer!

If there's one thing I cannot stand, its having a wet ... onion ring!

AND FINALLY, THE FULL PURCHASED VERSION GIVES YOU:

Sticky-Tings: create sheets of stickers from your favourite Tings

Ting-Tones: create ring-tones from your shared Tings

Random-Ting: hourly or daily set your ring-tone with a random shared Ting

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